


can't do a thing but wait (so let's wait)

by AgentBuzzkill



Series: i will love you with my whole heart [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon quote, Emotional Sex, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Widofjord Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 06:32:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19267744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentBuzzkill/pseuds/AgentBuzzkill
Summary: Caleb sighed, shutting the book before he stood up to face Fjord. His face was somber, brow furrowed with worry, but there was still softness in his bright eyes. Affection. Caleb adored those eyes.You are the one it would hurt the most to lose.“Fjord,” Caleb started in a low tone. “I don’t know what is going to happen in the following hours.”





	can't do a thing but wait (so let's wait)

**Author's Note:**

> My fic for Widofjord Week Day 3! I went with the prompt Canon Quote for today. 
> 
> Technically the quote I chose is canon, it's just...canon for Campaign One. Oops? I'd like to think repurposing one of his quotes as a set up to porn is what Vax would have wanted. 
> 
> The quote can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVBeOQTOTG0), though if you've seen C1 you'll probably know right away what it is. 
> 
> This is a part one to yesterday's fic for Intimacy, but both can be read on their own! 
> 
> Title is from the song 'For Me This is Heaven' by Jimmy Eat World

Caleb was tense. It was hardly an unusual sensation. He’d been tense for what felt like decades; jumping at every shadow, convinced every stranger was someone from his past come to drag him back to the Assembly kicking and screaming. 

Or perhaps they would have killed him on the spot. He supposed he would have his answer to that tomorrow. 

He sat at his desk in the room he shared with Fjord, staring at his spellbook but taking in nothing as his mind wandered. 

There was a tension between them, between all of the Nein, that had been building for days. They knew what was coming, were as prepared as they could ever be, but Caleb still worried. There was a significant chance that they could lose someone tomorrow, and that thought was a weight pressed down into his chest, keeping him from breathing. 

_ It feels as if I have only just found this family, and now they could be taken away too— _

A sudden hand on his shoulder startled him. 

“Cay?” he heard and did his best to relax. He hadn’t even heard Fjord enter the room. “Everything alright?”

Caleb closed his eyes for a moment, running a hand over his face. 

“ _ Ja _ ,” he replied, though he knew already that Fjord wouldn’t believe him. “Everything is fine.”

“Pretty sure you’ve got that book memorized by now,” Fjord said. “Maybe it’s time for a break?”

Caleb sighed, shutting the book before he stood up to face Fjord. His face was somber, brow furrowed with worry, but there was still softness in his bright eyes. Affection. Caleb adored those eyes. 

_ You are the one it would hurt the most to lose.  _

“Fjord,” Caleb started in a low tone. “I don’t know what is going to happen in the following hours.”

He took Fjord’s face in his hands. Fjord leaned into his touch, almost nuzzling one of Caleb’s palms, eyes bright as they met Caleb’s. He was Caleb’s rock, strong and powerful and capable and yet he could slip away so easily. One wrong move and Fjord could be gone forever and the thought was unbearable. It was unthinkable. It wouldn’t happen because Caleb would never let it happen. Not without every bit of power within him being directed towards keeping his love safe. If he lost Fjord at this point he was certain he would break again. Completely and irreparably. It terrified him sometimes, knowing that he’d placed all of his happiness in one person. He was only setting them both up for heartbreak, but what else could he do? Fjord was everything, and Caleb would treasure him for as long as he could. 

“Do not go far from me,” he said as Fjord pressed a kiss to his palm, his hands sliding to the small of Caleb’s back, pulling him closer. 

“I won’t,” Fjord assured him, lips still against Caleb’s skin.

“If we are out of earshot you are too far from me. Do not go far from me,” Caleb repeated. He needed Fjord to understand. It was imperative that he knew just how badly Caleb needed him to survive. 

“I promise I won’t,” Fjord said, bringing a hand up to take the back of one of Caleb’s and gently pull his palm from Fjord’s face. He began to press a line of kisses up Caleb’s arm, over the scars that laced his skin. 

“You...are distracting me,” Caleb said, trying and failing to keep an accusatory tone. 

“We’ve got a night to ourselves,” Fjord said. “I don’t really wanna dwell on what could happen tomorrow.”

“Fjord-“ Caleb started but Fjord interrupted him. 

“Just let me take care of you, Cay. Let me give you this. Please.”

Caleb allowed himself to be led to their bed, arms wrapping around Fjord’s shoulders almost instinctively as he brought Fjord to lay down with him. Fjord’s hands roamed over every part of Caleb they could reach, hiking up Caleb’s shirt and drifting fingertips over soft skin. 

“Beautiful,” Fjord murmured and Caleb felt himself sink further down into their mattress. He gladly let Fjord take control, knowing it would be the easiest way to forget about tomorrow, if only for a few moments. For the moment he turned his mind to Fjord’s mouth and hands and the thigh slotting between his legs, providing just a hint of delicious friction. 

“Fjord,” Caleb breathed the name out as if it were a prayer. “Please, please don’t stop—“

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Fjord replied. “Tell me what you want, love.”

Caleb’s reply was immediate. “You. Only you. All of you. Just make me forget, Fjord…”

There was a hint of desperation to every touch, an edge to every kiss. They were both trying to convince themselves this wasn’t the last time they would ever do this, but the thought still lingered in the back of Caleb’s mind. Would he ever feel the comforting weight of Fjord on top of him again? Would he be able to take Fjord’s hand and press a kiss to his cheek? His memory was precise, but surely in time it would dim. How long did he have before he forgot exactly what it felt like to have Fjord kiss the spot on his neck that he liked best? How long until recalling the way he sounded when he laughed, the way he looked when he smiled, the feeling of his arms wrapping around Caleb and pulling him close in the middle of the night, became difficult? How long until he forgot it all?

If he even reached an age that would come with issues with his memory. If he could make it that far after losing everything he cared for all over again. 

If he pulled Fjord a little closer, if he wanted to beg Fjord to go a little harder, a little deeper, to leave some marks that could last well beyond tomorrow, that was his prerogative. The same desperation seemed to have gripped Fjord, who clutched Caleb as hard as he could, nails digging into Caleb’s skin in a way that made him give a low, satisfied moan. 

Caleb wanted to ask Fjord to slow down, to make it last as long as they could, but he was just too eager. He reached down to undo his own trousers, slipping them and his smallclothes down his thighs as Fjord pulled away and made quick work of his own clothes. By the time they were both naked Caleb was desperate for touch again, and his hands gripped Fjord’s shoulders as Fjord settled between his legs.

“Please, Fjord,” he said. “I want—“

“Patience, darlin’,” Fjord said with a gentle smile. “I haven’t even prepped you yet.”

Caleb whined, legs spreading a little further. 

“You need to get up to do that.”

“I do need the oil, yeah.”

“I don’t want you to move.”

“That’s a bit of an essential, actually. Can’t do much if we don’t move.”

Caleb gave another little whine, pulling Fjord down toward him, and with a little laugh under his breath Fjord obliged and granted Caleb the kiss he was clearly asking for. Caleb kissed Fjord until Fjord finally pulled back to breathe, and even then he ducked down to press kiss after kiss to Fjord’s neck. 

“I’m right here, Cay,” Fjord murmured. “I got you. ‘M not goin’ anywhere, I promise.”

_ You don’t know that _ , Caleb wanted to say.  _ One of us may die tomorrow, and I can only hope it isn’t you.  _

“Get the oil,” was his reply instead. Fjord pulled away slowly, moving to rummage through the drawer of their bedside table. Caleb watched him, taking in his profile in the dim light of the fire in their fireplace, committing every bit of it to memory. As soon as Fjord had the bottle of oil out of the drawer Caleb took his face in his hands, turning Fjord to face him again and bringing him in for a kiss. Fjord kissed back, free hand running down Caleb’s side. Probably trying to calm him, but Caleb knew it wouldn’t do much. There was tension roiling within him that had been present for days, for months, for the last decade of his goddamn life, and he didn’t know what he was going to do if it was suddenly gone tomorrow. 

He pushed the worry away for just a little while longer, forced himself to focus only on how Fjord’s now oil-slick fingers felt as they teased him, on how Fjord’s mouth felt as he pressed a line of kisses down Caleb’s neck before stopping at the scar just above his collarbone. The bite mark that Fjord had left, marking Caleb as his. The second scar that marked his belonging to Fjord on his body, even more important to him than the cut across his palm. They hadn’t understood the gravity of their initial binding until much later, but the bite had been purposeful. Meaningful in a way no other mark on Caleb’s body could be. It was Fjord’s claim to him, and his acceptance of that claim. 

“You okay?” Fjord asked. “You’re never this quiet.” He sounded worried, and Caleb needed that to go away. He had to make this good for Fjord too. Just in case.

“Just thinking,” he replied, running his hands through Fjord’s hair. “Thinking too much, really.”

“I can help with that,” Fjord said with a grin and Caleb gasped as a finger slowly began to work him open. “Just think about that. About how it feels.”

Caleb couldn’t respond for a moment, too busy moaning at the sudden sensation of Fjord stroking his cock in time to the slow thrust of his finger. 

“I-I always prefer to think of you,” he finally managed. “Fjord…”

Fjord continued to work Caleb open, murmuring words against his skin that made Caleb’s heart swell with emotion. “Love it when you say my name, Cay. When you sound like that I know it feels good. Just wanna make you feel good, darling. Show you how much I love you.”

A second finger began to ease into Caleb and he moaned again. “Yes. Yes,  _ Schatz, ich liebe— _ I love you, Fjord...”

“Always open up so easily for me, too,” Fjord said, crooking his fingers inside Caleb, searching for the perfect spot he knew was there. 

_ Like we were made for each other, _ Caleb thought, the words too hopelessly romantic for him to ever feel comfortable saying out loud. Such sentiments only sounded appropriate in the pages of the bodice rippers he’d pick up from the bookstore on a whim, even if just thinking them made his heart swell with emotion. 

“You are good with your hands,” was his reply instead. “Among other things.” 

“You flatter me,” Fjord said with a grin. Caleb’s only reply was to pull him in for another kiss. He couldn’t seem to get enough of Fjord’s mouth, and if he weren’t so eager he might have told Fjord to slow down. To take his time. To explore every inch of Caleb that he could reach with his hands and that lovely mouth. If it was truly their last night together, perhaps he should—

But a third finger began to ease into him, and the pleasure-pain of the stretch was exquisite, and any desire to ask for anything else left Caleb in a rush as he tipped his head back and moaned. 

“Yes, Fjord, yes. Please don’t stop, please-“

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Fjord replied as he continued to move his fingers in and out of Caleb. “You want me to take you out of your head for a bit, right darlin’?”

Caleb nodded, drawing his legs up a little. It was something they’d done before, something Caleb knew would take his mind off things if only for a few blissful moments.

_ Anything for a second of peace _ , he thought.  _ Anything to make it seem that you and I are the only two people left in this world. _

Fjord finally found the right spot to hit inside of Caleb and the shock of pleasure was enough to make Caleb bite his bottom lip in an attempt to not cry out. Best not to wake the entire house up, he thought, even though he knew Fjord loved to listen to him come undone. 

Fjord didn’t let up. If anything Caleb’s reaction seemed to encourage him as he continued to hit that same spot with each thrust of his hand. Caleb’s hips moved, searching for more and more pleasure.

Somewhat distantly he felt the press of Fjord’s lips to the mark on his neck, and without warning the pleasure rushed up and claimed him. 

It always felt especially good, the white-out of orgasm, but it was always much too short. For a few moments there was pleasure so great Caleb could stop the rush of thoughts and fears and memories that threatened to swallow him whole every minute of every day. But it had to end, and Caleb always inevitably returned to reality. 

“Fjord,” he groaned as he looked down between them at his cock, untouched by himself or Fjord, hard and dribbling spend onto his stomach. Fjord’s fingers in him slowed but still continued to move, and before he could even react Fjord reached down and took Caleb’s cock in his free hand, giving it a slow stroke. 

The overstimulation was a truly exquisite torture, one that Caleb had been surprised to discover he enjoyed as much as he did. One hand gripped the sheets under him and the other flew up to his mouth as Fjord’s movements helped maintain a steady thrum of pleasure in him. His hips jerked, cock still leaking just a bit as Fjord continued to stroke it, but it was too sensitive. Too good. To much. He knew if he asked for mercy it would be granted, but he wanted to prove that mercy was not needed. He would take what Fjord wanted to give him. He would be good. 

Sometimes the return to reality could be delayed. Fjord knew how to make that happen. 

Caleb was able to coast on a dull wave of pleasure as Fjord continued to touch him, overstimulation giving way to a quick ascent to the edge of another orgasm. Gods, it always felt like too much and not enough when they did this. An overabundance of sensation and no time to fully enjoy it before it was gone again and Caleb was left to writhe and beg and pray that Fjord didn’t stop. 

A second wave hit, just as intense as the last, and Caleb bit the back of his hand to keep from crying out too loud. 

“How is it, darlin,?” he distantly heard Fjord ask. 

“ _ Gut, sehr gut _ — Fjord!” Caleb shuddered, hips jerking, and he didn’t know anymore if he was trying to escape Fjord’s grasp or begging for more. 

“You wanna keep going?” Fjord asked and Caleb could cry at how much he loved this man, how considerate and caring and beautiful he was, how desperately he needed him to be there when everything was over tomorrow— 

_ No. No thoughts like that. Not now.  _

“ _ Ja _ ,” he breathed. “ _ Ja _ , yes, Fjord please! I need…I-I need…”

“Can you say it, darlin’?”

Caleb’s hand moved, gripping Fjord’s hair tight and bringing him in for a bruising kiss. Fjord was still stroking him—his cock making a very noble effort to remain hard even after so much attention—and his hand was still steadily fucking him and it was amazing but he needed more.

His other hand reached between them, grabbing for Fjord’s cock between his legs, and Fjord laughed into their kiss. 

“Message received,” he said, but just as the movement of his hands began to slow Caleb could feel another wave coming up. 

“One more,” he said quickly, grabbing at Fjord’s wrist now to keep him from pulling away entirely. “ _ Bitte,  _ Fjord, please just one more—“

“Of course, sweetheart,” Fjord replied. “As many as you want. As many as you need.”

Caleb’s hands scrambled for purchase against Fjord’s back, fingernails digging into flesh as Fjord’s fingers in him brought him over the edge again. His mind went blank for a few more blissful seconds as he rode out the aftershocks, and it was only when he somewhat came back to himself that he realized he was saying Fjord’s name. 

“Love it when you sound like that,” Fjord said as he pressed another kiss to the mark on Caleb’s neck. “You’re so pretty when you come. Ready for more now?”

Caleb nodded and let out a low whine as Fjord’s hands finally stopped moving and his fingers slowly slipped out of him. Caleb only had a few moments to catch his breath. He watched Fjord grab the oil and take his cock in hand, slicking it up. Fjord glanced up at Caleb, realized he was being watched, and at the sight of Caleb’s grin he moved his hand a little slower. 

“Putting on a show for me?” Caleb asked. 

“Only if you like what you see,” Fjord replied. 

Caleb laughed. “I always like to see you.”

His voice sounded far away. His body felt like he was floating on a cloud. Everything was warm and relaxed and perfect and Fjord was going to fuck him and he couldn’t wait. He reached out his arms and with another laugh Fjord obliged, the head of his cock pressed to Caleb’s entrance as he allowed himself to be pulled to Caleb’s chest.

Fjord slipped into him slowly, easily, and the sigh that left Caleb was rapturous. 

“Fuck,” Fjord groaned as he buried himself in Caleb. “Always feels so good.”

“Move, Fjord,” Caleb begged. “Please, I need-“

“I got you,” Fjord said, doing his best to soothe Caleb as he began to move his hips. “I got you, Cay, I’m right here. I’ll take care of you.”

Caleb was pressing kisses to every bit of Fjord he could reach, sucking in marks that he wanted to leave because the world needed to know that Fjord was his. That Caleb would protect him with everything he had. That they were bound in blood and heart and soul and nothing could tear them apart, not if Caleb had any say in the matter. 

He didn’t even realize he was crying until Fjord’s hand reached up, brushing away tears that leaked from the corners of his eyes. 

“Do you need to stop?” Fjord asked, pulling back to meet Caleb’s gaze and Caleb shook his head. 

“Don’t stop,” he said, voice thick with emotion. “Please, just...keep going, Fjord.”

Fjord nodded, his own eyes shining.

“I love you,” he murmured as he continued to fuck Caleb, his thrusts growing faster and harder. “I love you so much, Caleb. So fuckin’ much—“

Caleb was searching for the right words, but for once he couldn’t find them. He couldn’t find any words. His mind was overwhelmed, emotion and sensation at war, and all he could do was say Fjord’s name. He was the rock that Caleb could cling to, the one constant, the steady presence keeping him from floating away completely. 

Time slipped away, and Caleb had no idea how much of it passed before Fjord’s thrusts into him grew erratic. 

“I-I’m close, Caleb,” he said, voice strained with pleasure. He took Caleb’s cock in hand, half-hard again, and stroked it in time with his thrusts as best as he could. The added stimulation was just enough to bring Caleb back up to the edge again, though this climax felt different than the others. 

With a muffled cry into the mark on Caleb’s neck, Fjord buried himself to the hilt in Caleb. He could feel the pulse of Fjord’s cock in him, the warmth of his release, and the sensation of being filled and claimed and  _ loved  _ was enough to push Caleb into his last orgasm. 

He sank into the pleasure, let it fill every last inch of him until it was all he could comprehend, until he finally drifted back into his body. Even then he still floated, his mind hazy and slow, and he distantly recognized the sensations of Fjord cleaning them both up, of being helped under the covers of their bed and wrapped in Fjord’s embrace. 

“Fjord,” he finally said, voice still far away. 

“You coming back to me, Caleb?” he heard Fjord reply. It sounded like he was smiling. 

“ _ Ja. Ich liebe dich. _ ”

“Don’t know much Zemnian, but I’m glad you taught me that.”

He felt a kiss pressed to his forehead. 

“I love you too, Caleb.”

Even with the worry of what tomorrow would bring still looming over them, they managed to drift off to sleep together. And they would wake together, and fight together, and Fjord would keep his promise. 

_ Do not go far from me.  _

_ I promise I won’t. _

**Author's Note:**

> As always: comments, kudos, and criticisms are appreciated.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
